he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
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You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
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He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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