Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
