So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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