You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
