playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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