Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I understand Curling. That high.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
