You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Randomize
