we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
