Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
