Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
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he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
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I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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