did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
If I had your ass I would rule the world
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
