I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Randomize
