Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
