I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
