she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I checked into jail on foursquare
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
