is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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