I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
