And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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