i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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