I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
