Just cropdusted the office
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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