I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize