whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Randomize
