I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
