her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
Randomize
