Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
