im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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