i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
is it fun? or sober?
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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