Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize