Life is so much better after having sex.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
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