never play flip cup with pint glasses
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
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