I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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