she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
he thought i was a dude.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Help. Why am I so naked?
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