I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
