No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Randomize
