I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
try to milk me bitch
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