People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Randomize
