I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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