I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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