What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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