I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize