Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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