And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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