So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
there was a trapeze. enough said
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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