Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Randomize
