You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
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We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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