I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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