Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I checked into jail on foursquare
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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