I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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