Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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