So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
