Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
