He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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