imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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