omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
How drunk are you?
Completed.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
