I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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