if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Actions speak louder than pants.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.