these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
These 19 Men’s Fashion Mistakes are Unforgivable, According to Women
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
25 Cringeworthy Below the Pants Injuries
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
I'm just looking out for you.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?