I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too