Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
25 Times Terrible Advice Was Given To A Teenager
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT