Texts From Last Night

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  (806): View more from Texas

  and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...

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  (806): and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"... http://tfl.nu/oz9l
  Replies (77) Good night (1887) Bad night (6733)
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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please

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  (202): im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please http://tfl.nu/aagw
  Replies (29) Good night (4432) Bad night (1633)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's only a little bit crosseyed.

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.

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  (610): He's only a little bit crosseyed. (484): I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much. http://tfl.nu/gez3
  Replies (3) Good night (1103) Bad night (2820)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.

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  (607): I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked. http://tfl.nu/x6mr
  Replies (14) Good night (3530) Bad night (1056)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.

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  (207): It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it. http://tfl.nu/yxow
  Replies (4) Good night (2501) Bad night (834)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.

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  (802): All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed. http://tfl.nu/ahym
  Replies (4) Good night (1854) Bad night (650)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.

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  (484): you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out. http://tfl.nu/twgf
  Replies (3) Good night (1983) Bad night (746)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE

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  (256): OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE http://tfl.nu/qfju
  Replies (7) Good night (2344) Bad night (673)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song

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  (908): Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song http://tfl.nu/uwq0
  Replies (13) Good night (1475) Bad night (579)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?

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  (410): the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right? http://tfl.nu/bfic
  Replies (1) Good night (680) Bad night (355)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious

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  (225): Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious http://tfl.nu/iev4
  Replies (0) Good night (900) Bad night (401)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!

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  (207): C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!! http://tfl.nu/tb1b
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.

  (951): View more from California

  Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped

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  (760): I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire. (951): Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped http://tfl.nu/trsg
  Replies (3) Good night (398) Bad night (547)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.

  (810): View more from Michigan

  family traditions my good sir

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  (773): I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel. (810): family traditions my good sir http://tfl.nu/vuky
  Replies (7) Good night (689) Bad night (1109)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?

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  (402): I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible? http://tfl.nu/xkkb
  Replies (5) Good night (657) Bad night (415)

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