No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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