what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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