the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
