May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
