playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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