you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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