That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I enjoy the company of your penis
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
